Why New Zealand?
Many people ask me all the time why I chose to come to New Zealand of all places, and most of the time I give them the short and simple answer, "why not?!" Because the real answer seems a little too abstract for casual conversation, and I don't fully understand it enough myself to explain it to others.
In a weird way, everything in my life started pointing me towards New Zealand. It started with a conversation with a friend, that sparked an idea. His idea was that we should move to New Zealand, because it was full of adventure and extreme sports. A few months later, I go to the bar with Tina for a few beers after work, and I find out that she also has New Zealand planned for the near future. The idea festered, and opportunities began to open up.
The main reason why I chose to come to New Zealand, though, is because this is the place where I felt like I needed to be. For awhile, I felt stuck, like I wasn't going anywhere, or doing anything. I felt trapped in a routine; with the same people, doing the same thing. I worked long weekends, and spent long hours on campus. When I wasn't at school or work, I was traveling. And that wasn't enough to quench my thirst for a change, a new adventure. Around the time I was getting ideas about New Zealand, I began having dreams about glowworm caves. There were many consecutive nights where I had multiple dreams about these caves. In some of these dreams, I was bringing a few friends into my spot, my haven. In other dreams, I am protecting the cave from people that want to do construction in the area that will result in the cave collapsing. Then there are some dreams where it is just me sitting in the cave, on a boat, or on a ledge, admiring it's beauty. In each of these dreams, it is a different cave, and a different group of people. I thought it was quite bizarre that I continued to have dreams about glowworms, so I decided to google glowworm caves to see what results would pop up. To my surprise, the first link that appears is "Waitomo Glowworm Caves", which ironically happens to be in New Zealand. Over the next few weeks, it just clicked. I felt like New Zealand was the next step that I needed to take in my life.
On top of that, I have this antsy feeling, like I'm looking for something, but I don't know what it is. I feel like it's something that I can't fully comprehend yet, but that when I find it, I'll understand. It's such a complicated feeling to wrap my mind around, and I can't say it's the most comfortable feeling, but I also have an intuition that I will find whatever it is I'm looking for, while I am in New Zealand. I have noticed that I am continually analyzing the events in my life, looking for any greater significance, because I want to find whatever it is I'm looking for. I'm not quite sure if that makes any sense, because it barely makes sense to me. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it, and I find it hard to voice without sounding like a complete weirdo, so it's an explanation I often keep to myself.
So why did I choose to come to New Zealand? I had dreams about it. I've talked about it. I think I'll find what I'm looking for. I feel like it's where I'm meant to be. I don't know. Something in between all of those reasons.
I don't think that anyone can ever fully define themselves as a person, because people continually change with experiences and acquired wisdom. However, I believe that this journey will bring me closer to gaining a better understanding of what I want from life, and what I can offer to the lives of others. Whether I find whatever it is I'm looking for or not, I know that New Zealand will broaden my perspective and take me out of my comfort zone in many ways. That's all I am really asking for.
